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Member Questions Series II
Getting into the swinging lifestyle can be equal parts intriguing and terrifying. There are lots of unknowns and questions to be asked. Getting everything out on the table with your partner is the most important first step, but once you've both agreed you want to give the lifestyle a try, what then?
Here at SDC.com we've got a host of experts ready to help you with your deepest most intimate questions and concerns. However, we also trust our community of readers and lifestyle-goers.
So, in these Members Questions Series, we want to hear your answers!
It Was Meant to Be About Us Both, Not Her Alone
My wife and I are new to swinging, and we have never played with anyone. We just got into the lifestyle looking for a MFM, FMF or a couples full swap. We were talking to couples and singles. We chatted with one guy, and they liked each other just by chatting and seeing each other's pics. He wanted to meet us, but we didn't have a sitter, so he asked if she could go alone to see if they clicked.
I decided to let her go, and she ended up sleeping with him outside a parking lot in the car. She said she was just going to meet him to find out if he was the one to do a MFM. She said it was good, and that she was ready for us to do it. He turned to say he doesn't do MFM. It upsets me that she acted alone without my consent and slept with him. She said "too bad" and there is nothing we could do anymore. But I'm still upset about it. What can I do? What advise can you give me? This was suppose to be about both of us not just one of us.
Soft Swap or Not?
My husband and I just recently had our first soft swap. The other couple didn't feel comfortable performing in front of their spouse and encouraged us to be in separate rooms. We have a no-penetration rule, however, upon entering the room that they were in it appeared that they were actually penetrating. He says they didn't but I saw otherwise. I like the LS, but I don't like the feeling of seeing him penetrate another woman. How should I handle this?
How to Solve My Performance Problem?
My wife of 28 years and I are new to the lifestyle. We are having lots of fun, but I've run into a bit of a performance problem. At age 50, I've not had any erectile problems until we're with other couples. For some reason, I have trouble either getting it up or maintaining erections. This is a new problem for me. When I'm just with my wife, I'm good to go. I'm so embarrassed, and I really want to continue our adventures but now I'm feeling too self-conscious to meet other couples. Any advice you can offer will be appreciated.
Are There Any Videos That Show the Lifestyle in a Positive Light?
Newbies here! A couple of years ago my wife and I stumbled into a full swap we weren't prepared for, and it went great for everyone. She's on the conservative side, but once things start, she's all in.
Since then we've shared lifestyle fantasies and watch MMF, FFM, and swap porn together, which she prefers to one-on-one scenes. She's always known she's bi and she wants more experiences. What she struggles with is creating the situation where they can happen. That first time was a perfect storm. She's told me it's up to me to get her there, and that once she's there she'll enjoy it.
So: do you know any videos that show the lifestyle in a tasteful, non-sleazy way? Or ones with women seducing newbie wives, which is a fantasy of hers?
How Do I Get Myself in the Mood for Sex?
When we go to swinger clubs or parties spontaneously, me and my husband have a great time and enjoy having sex. We often meet couples we like, and after our play, set a date for a private meeting. That is where it can go wrong: On the date, it sometimes happens that I am actually not in the mood for sex. Not with my husband, and not with the couple in question. How do I deal with this? How should I get myself in the mood?
Penis is Too Big, What Can I Do?
Hi, I have a serious problem: My man's penis is exactly the right size for me. But when we date other couples, it sometimes happens that his penis and my vagina do not match up, because his penis is too big. I have tried lots of lubrication, but that doesn't do the trick. What can I do? We are almost afraid to date.
My Girl Chickens Out... What to Do?
My girl gets gung ho and talks a big game, but right before we are to go meet the couple she backs out. She talks real big, but chickens out every damn time. What can I do to combat and stop this?
What Terms to Use in Our Profile?
We're a couple that's new to swinging. We're trying to understand the lifestyle terminology. Right now, we're seeking a woman to play with rather than a couple. When we're selecting our swinging style, what is correct?
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